Authenticity do you value it?

Authenticity: Do You Really Value It?

“Be authentic. "It's a buzzword that’s everywhere — splashed across motivational posts, corporate values statements, and dating profiles alike. We’re told to show up as our "real selves," speak our truth, and value genuineness in others. But what does authenticity really mean… and do we actually want it in every area of life?

Let’s be honest — the idea of authenticity is deeply appealing. It suggests honesty, integrity, and being grounded in who you are. It whispers of being free from fakery, untouched by the performative polish of social media or slick corporate branding. But like many ideals that get commercialised, authenticity has become a bit… complicated.

Do We Really Want Authenticity? All the Time?

Imagine a waiter approaches your table after a long shift and, rather than the usual customer-service grin, says: "Honestly? I’m exhausted, my feet hurt, and I can’t believe you ordered the steak medium-well. But hey — I’m just being authentic!"

Or picture a sales rep trying to close a deal, saying: "I don’t really care about your business. I just need to hit my monthly target so I can pay rent."

Not quite the authenticity you had in mind?

This gets to the heart of the issue — authenticity, for all its good intentions, bumps up hard against impression management, emotional labour, and social norms. In some roles (think healthcare, hospitality, leadership, customer service), we expect a degree of professional mask-wearing. And we’re often grateful for it.

Impression Management: Is It Lying?

Sociologist Erving Goffman described life as a kind of performance — we present ourselves differently depending on the audience, the setting, and what we want to achieve. This isn’t necessarily deceitful. It’s strategic. And most of us do it, whether we realise it or not.

Psychologist Adrian Furnham, in The New Psychology of Work, talks about self-monitoring — the degree to which people regulate their behaviour to suit the social context. High self-monitors are like social chameleons: they read the room, adapt their tone, and manage impressions with ease. Low self-monitors, on the other hand, behave more consistently across settings, valuing personal expression over situational demands.

So who’s more authentic?

Well — low self-monitors might score higher on consistency, but high self-monitors often outperform them in the workplace. Why? Because they understand the unwritten rules of interaction. They know when to speak, how to adjust, and how to blend sincerity with diplomacy.

This overlaps with the concept of political skill — a mix of sincerity, social astuteness, interpersonal influence, and apparent authenticity. Yes, apparent. It’s the subtle ability to come across as real, even when you’re being strategic.

Charm vs Authenticity: A False Binary?

We often mistrust charm — calling it “superficial” or “fake.” But political skill isn’t just about manipulation. When done with integrity, it’s about understanding human nature, navigating social complexity, and knowing when to be honest and when to hold back.

It’s not necessarily inauthentic to filter your thoughts before speaking. In fact, it might be more authentic to your values — kindness, professionalism, discretion — than blurting out everything that pops into your head.

The Commercialisation of Human Feeling

In some ways, we’ve turned authenticity into a brand. You can now buy clothes, skincare, and coaching programs all promising to make you more "authentically you." There’s something ironic about packaging sincerity for profit.

In the workplace, this can feel especially sticky. Companies demand "authenticity" from employees, but only the approved kind. Vulnerability is encouraged — as long as it’s polished. Honesty is welcome — as long as it aligns with company values.

It raises the question: are we being invited to be real? Or just real enough to feel relatable?

So… What Does It Mean to Be Authentically You?

Maybe authenticity isn’t about being the same in every situation, or always speaking your mind. Maybe it’s about congruence — aligning your values with your actions. That might mean showing empathy even when you’re tired, or adapting your message to suit your audience because connection matters more than self-expression.

Authenticity, then, isn’t the opposite of impression management — it’s the thoughtful integration of both.

Final Thought

It’s okay to be strategic. It’s okay to wear different hats. Authenticity doesn’t have to mean spilling your guts or being brutally honest. Instead, think of it as being anchored — knowing who you are, even as you adapt, relate, and evolve.

Because in a world of noise, curated personas, and expectations, maybe true authenticity is the quiet confidence of choosing your response — not just reacting to the moment.

Authentic, Strategic or Fake.......